BENT WOOKEE COMIX (..we have issues..)

BENT WOOKEE COMIX (..we have issues..)
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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Review of New Exiles #9

Story by: Chris Claremont

Art and Cover by: Tom Grummett

Publisher: Marvel Comics

Brief Synopsis: I guess it is about time I do a negative review after posting so many positive ones. I hate this book so bad that I can't even come up with a synopsis so I stole this from the Marvel site. The British and French empires are at each other’s throats, and the Exiles are barely able to catch their breath. Perhaps the help of certain wheelchair-bound mutant teacher’s student body would come in handy? Meanwhile in Chinese occupied Japan, Betsy struggles to deal with Lady Mandarin and Ogun.

God, this book is terrible. Chris Claremont hasn't been relevant in over two decades but they still let him crank out this drivel every single month. His whole writing existence is based on heroes being mind controlled and excessive talking during fighting scenes. And when I say excessive talking, I mean the characters describe everything that is going on in the scene out loud. For instance, at the beginning of the issue Rogue challenges a version of the X-Men to a fight. During the fight, Spider-Man attacks and Rogue says, out loud, "I've been grabbed--some kind of webbing!" Who the fuck says that?!? That irritates me to no end.

Other stuff happens in the book, including Claremont's pet characters Sage questioning herself for the umpteenth time and Psylocke being mind controlled for the gajillionth time. Sabertooth, who was leading the group before Claremont came on board but hasn't done anything since the relaunch, shows up at the end to talk to Kat in a meaningless scene about Kat doubting their mission.

Positives: None

Negatives: Everything

Conclusion: It was bad enough reading this the first time but even worse having to go through it a second time. Totally worthless book.

Disagree with my review? Leave me a comment.

And remember, you can buy all your funny books at the greatest comic book store in town: Bent Wookee Comix.

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